ETU

Pranksters Strike Egyption Wing

Sunday morning Professors from the Egyptian wing of the Archaeology Department discovered that an recently acquired artifact had been vandalized and pieces stolen. The inquiry into the thefts came to a halt as the stolen statues were found somehow placed in the halls of a nearby dormitory. Authorities suspect a large scale freshman prank as stories of the statues walking in on their own is the only story told by residents of the dorms. This connection is further strengthened as at the same time a large green cloud was seen over the northern section of woods near campus. Security theorizes that it is simply a prank gone wrong and that nothing more should be seen from the culprits.

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Fundraising Spooktacular

Greek_Week.gifIn wake of the tragedy of last geek the Greek Counsel has gathered all of their resources to throw the biggest Halloween party ETU has seen in years with every house on Greek Row participating. All proceeds from this massive block party will go towards the reconstruction of the Iota Delta Delta House. Attendance in expected to be massive as permits to transform all of Greek Row in on giant carnival area.

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Tragedy Strikes Greek Row

Last Saturday evening tragedy struck Greek Row as three member of Iota Delta Delta were found dead and much of their house destroyed. Pinebox Wildlife officers speculate a rare occurrence of a rabid bear wandered from the thicket onto the property causing the bloodshed. Memorial services will be held Wednesday at The Roost. House leader Willard Herman was expected to be leading the services however he has been hospitalized and under treatment for rabies infection. Herman was found curled into a fetal position outside of the house muttering incoherently and seeming mentally unstable. We at ETU mourn the losses felt this week and with Mr. Herman a speedy recovery.

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Batters Up!

Baseball.jpgIt appears that last night that a rare species of Chiroptera found its way onto Greek Row. The unusually large bat was seen trying to break into the OBN house before attacking a student on the street below. Luckily OBN resident and ETU baseball star Mack Callahan was on the case beating the animal into submission before anyone was injured. Wildlife Ranger Simon Wyley states, “this is normally a docile migratory species that mistook the Omecron Beta Nu steeple as an abandoned belfry to sleep in for the night. Unprovoked aggression would indicated the animal was most likely either injured and scared or possibly rabid.” Tests ran on the specimen did in fact turn up positive for Rabies, but do not worry baseball fans Big Mack has already received treatment.

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Notice of Temporary Building Closure

Toxic.png A notice has gone out to all engineering and applied science students. For the next week the R.E. Lee Engineering and Applied Sciences Building will be closed after the discovery of a serious black mold infestation. Dr. Steven Anderson notes that this is a prime example of why students are advised to not bring any form of food stuffs into any and all lab facilities. A general health warning has also been issues to any student or faculty that may have been in the R.E. Lee Building recently and experienced any of the following: Hearing of voices or other unexplained sounds, seeing strobing and or color changing lights, and any and all forms of memory loss . Anyone experiencing such phenomenon should report to Rockefeller Psychology Center where a wellness booth has been erected to test for black mold poisoning as hallucinations is one of the first signs of prolonged exposure.

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Shooting in Pinebox

JacksonPortrait.pngSome of us might be breathing an extra sigh of relief to be leaving for summer break. The night before finals tragedy struck with a bang as reports of gunshot being fired at the home of graduate student Jackson Green. Pinebox PD are suspecting foul play and would urge anyone with information about the location of Mr. Green or what happened that night to please come forward. As per ETU tradition a memorial for Jackson Green will be held at the Edgar Garland Student Center Memorial Room. Sadly due to this tragedy occurring so close to the end of the year attendance will be low.

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Glass Menagerie Curtain Call

Theater.jpgSo it appears that ETU’s Theater Department will not be performing The Glass Menagerie as scheduled. Last night director Gene Smith better known under his stage name Conner Mayes has been taken into police custody. Little is known of the circumstances however rumors are circulating about confession of both murder and attempted arson. With such news in light it is not much of a stretch for Golan authorities to be looking towards Mayes for answers to the recent spree of arson investigations and his involvement with Colin Maylor, another suspect in said investigations that was found dead Sunday evening along Highway 96.

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Surprise News From OBN

Even with their house in dire straights OBN doesn’t seem to give up. Latest news emerges that OBN has been sitting with a proverbial ace up their sleeves claiming both Daemein Markov and Mack Callahan as pledges along with several of their friends. “It’s a nice ruse to build support for their house, but sadly we all know new pledges cannot be invited this late into the year.” states Iota Delta Delta House President Willard Herman. Reports from an inside source however claim that the new pledges were in fact invited within the first semester and instead simply are late in a formal acceptance of said invite. When asked of such a claim Willard responded in kind with, “Even if that is the case the point is mute as the only way to allow a late response is with an over turn by the house president and given that he’s in jail and his second in the wind I don’t see that happening.”

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Greek Tragedy

So it appears OBN is once again the word around campus. Sadly this time around it’s tragedy over comedy as House President Vance Crawford was arrested in connection with the murder of fellow house mate Dave Dalton. In addition second chair Marcus Hicks as well as nearly all other junior and senior members of the house seem to have left town without warning. This marks the peak of a growing concern among fellow houses as to the reputation of party house OBN. Founded only 41 years ago in 1973 OBN has had more than it’s share of run ins with the law however murder bring a new low to the youngest of the ETU Greek Family.

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It's Greek Week!

Greek_Week.gifThat’s right Ravens next week is Greek Week where all of our fraternities and sororities battle it out for the Dionysus Cup. The festivities kick off Saturday night with the Annual Opening Ceremonies Party at the OBN house where the houses top “athletes” meet and greet before the games begin Sunday. As usually this is sadly an invite only affair, but if history stands the open to all after party should be EPIC. Hope to see you all there.

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